lonely dark angel

Just about my dream last night. .

a dream. ..
i wonder when i realized this was a dream ..
a long time ago or just a few minute ago
even the answer is clouded within my dream
knowing not even if time is passing
I dream that i will one day awaken ..
-
I’m dreaming
A dream where i’m waiting for someone ..
I sit on a small bench
all by myself.
waiting for someone who won’t come. .
hour after hour
day after day
an year after year. ..
-
Unable to do anything else but remember her angel’s smile ..
I can see an angel’s smile on the someone girl’s face .
i’m not sure who that girl is. ..
but only see her smile I can knowing her. .
she is the girl who faraway from my side right now. .
she is the girl who always give me power recharge everytime I need it..
-
I don’t know why I’m dreaming of her..
in that strange dream. ..
maybe it was just bout my longing for her smile. ..
my strong desire to meet her directly. ..
Because she is not in here by my side right now. ..
She is in holiday on her own city. ..
The city that definitely so far away from my place ..
-
It’s poor of me now,, can’t do anything else without her smile’s existence..
Because I’m the man who owe its existence to her smile. ..
-
-
to someone who is now faraway from me. .
but I always feel that we are closed although we are apart .. ^-^

Dreaming with a broken heart..

One sidedly passive love. ..
always feel so hurt,,
just admirring without being loved
being ignored by someone i’ve loved with all of my heart.. .
-
but i think it is the best result..
that i can reach as a secret admirrer.
being ignored is just a little part of my poor destiny..
-
who is the person that want to be destined to be a secret admirer. ..??
no one want it..
but I’m the man who have choose my way to be secret admirer..
enjoy my one sidedly passive love that better than loyal sincere love..
-
with that fate..
I’ve feel broken heart too many time .
as much as she ignored me ..
-
I’m dreaming with a broken heart..
maybe because my love to her is exceeded anything in this world. ..
The God always give me a gift..
a beautiful gift i’ve ever receive. ..
-
The God’s gift is not a something that I can touch, something that I can keep.
but the God’s gift is always something special..
-
The God’s gift is a dream..
a dream that fulfilled with her existence.. .
walking together with her,
sitting on a small bench in the park with a beautiful water shower in the middle.. and lunch together. ..
talking, laughing, i can do so freely as free as i can. ..
hear her voice,, her voice is a lot of softer than i could imagine. ..
like angel’s whisper.. .
-
All of that is my wish that i want to be granted in my real world. ..
but it’s pathetic,, when the God granted my fondest wish only in my dream . ..
-
but it was no matter for me..
sometimes love is just a big illusion ..
and dream is one of the illusion that made by the love.. .
-
although it was just a dream. ..
but in my opinion.. it was a better as a memory in a dream than a a memory in my real world. .. .
a memory that never happened. ..
the memory that just can be remembered by me.. no one can corrupt my beautiful memory..
-
i’m just a dreamer nothing more. ..
once again
in this moment i’m just a dreamer as long as she always ignored me …
-
but i promise,, i’ll always love u with all of my heart. ..
i don’t care with ur respond..
i’ll give my sincere heart only for u. .
love is not a matter of take and give. .
but love is a matter of giving without taking anything …
-
i’m glad still connect with you …
-
-
-
demasu wa nindy-sama suki desu. .. ^-^